Can We Fix It? Why Couples Think About Open Marriages—and What They Really Want Instead
Have you found yourself wondering if opening your marriage is the only option left? You’re not alone. One in five married couples is talking about it.
But what if the solution you’re looking for isn’t outside your marriage?
I’m Amy Color, your intimacy coach. I’ve worked with thousands of men and couples, and I want to tell you something important: You probably didn’t get married so you could go looking for someone new. You got married because you love each other. Because you wanted to build a life together. If you're considering opening your marriage, chances are you’re not getting your needs met—emotionally or physically—and you don’t see another way forward.
Let’s change that.
You don’t need another lover. You need a strategy. A new approach to connection. You need an Intimacy Game Plan.
Here’s the truth: Many couples feel stuck in a cycle of disconnection. Whether it’s because of mismatched libidos, erectile dysfunction, shame, trauma, health issues, or simply years of stress and routine—the result is the same. You're both trying. But you feel like you're on opposite sides of the field.
One couple came to me after she said, “I don’t like sex.” He was heartbroken. She thought I was going to force her into something she didn’t want. But what I actually did was help her feel connected, safe, and turned on—sometimes for the first time.
Another couple came to me after he was diagnosed with ED. He assumed his sex life was over. She assumed their only option was to open the marriage. Instead, we redefined sex not as performance, but as pleasure. We explored whole body sensual connection—touch, sound, sensation, presence—and they created the most intimate experiences of their life. No pills. No pressure. Just real love.
Here’s why couples really consider opening up:
They feel unseen, untouched, or undesired
They’re hiding parts of themselves—desires, kinks, preferences
They’ve reduced sex to a three-step routine with no real satisfaction
They’ve never experienced great sex—just duty sex
They’ve lost confidence, or feel shame around their bodies or desires
But the solution isn’t outside. It’s within you—together. And it starts with four simple shifts:
1. Redefine Sex
Stop thinking of sex as performance or penetration. Start thinking of it as shared pleasure. That’s your new goal: practicing and playing together in ways that feel good for both of you.
2. Start with a Huddle
This nonverbal ritual is the heart of your connection. It instantly shifts you from pressure to presence. It’s exclusive to your partnership—something you do only with each other, to drop in and re-sync.
3. Schedule Heart Time
This is your time to connect, without distractions or expectations. You’re not scheduling sex. You’re building a rhythm of intimacy—your practice, your play, your championship games.
4. Take Turns
You’re teammates, not opponents. One moment can be all about her. The next, all about him. This takes the pressure off, builds trust, and lets you fully explore each other’s pleasure.
When couples follow this plan, everything changes. One client told me, “I thought I didn’t like sex. Then I had sex I liked.” Another said, “I thought ED meant I was done. Now I’m the most connected I’ve ever been.” And a woman who feared sharing her kink finally let her husband in—and it bonded them in a way she never imagined possible.
Pleasure heals shame. Vulnerability builds trust. And love gets better with practice.
You don’t need to open your marriage. You need to open up to each other—with safety, strategy, and support.
Download the free Intimacy Game Plan and start huddling tonight. Or apply for the full program and let me guide you step-by-step.
Because you love each other. You just need a better way back in.
If you’ve ever felt like roommates instead of partners or lovers, it’s not too late. Download the FREE Intimacy Game Plan and start huddling tonight. Or talk to me and apply for the full program.
Because you deserve to feel safe, loved, and connected—not just on paper, but in your skin. Intimacy is your skill. Pleasure is your practice. And connection is the cure.
Let’s build it—together.
