How to Talk About Sex Without It Getting Awkward: The ABCD Formula
They say communication is key to a great sex life—but what does that actually look like?
Most couples don’t talk about intimacy at all, or when they do, it quickly turns tense. The result? More misunderstanding, more silence, and more disconnection. But what if there was a way to talk about sex that made you both feel closer, not criticized?
I’m Amy Color, creator of The Intimacy Game Plan—and today, I’m giving you a communication formula that changes everything. I call it the ABCDs of Postplay Highlights—a ritual that helps couples reflect on their intimacy in a way that builds trust, safety, and anticipation.
Here’s how it works:
A — Appreciate
What did you love? What felt good? Start with gratitude. This lowers defenses and sets a positive tone.
B — Best Part
Get specific. What moment, movement, or mood stood out? This becomes your shared highlight reel.
C — Curious
Explore. What would you want more of next time? Is there something to try, tweak, or improve together?
D — Date
Name the next time you’ll share another moment like this. It builds anticipation and makes connection feel inevitable.
One couple in my program used this exact formula after a weekend together. He appreciated that she initiated, loved their starlit patio rendezvous, and was curious about making outdoor intimacy a regular thing. When she shared her ABCDs, it was the first time in her life she openly named what she liked. That moment alone redefined their connection.
This formula isn’t just for sex. It works for any feedback loop—yes, even pasta night gone wrong. It turns vulnerable truth into loving connection.
If your partner says “no” to something? That doesn’t mean it’s off the menu forever. In the Intimacy Game Plan, we practice building menus, not walls. We expand options, explore possibilities, and learn together—playfully.
When couples use the ABCDs consistently, they create a shared language that turns their love life into a practice—not a performance. You’ll stop wondering “Was it good?” and start planning for more of what works—for both of you.
Want to feel more connected? Start with a huddle. Use the ABCD formula. Talk less, connect more.
Looking for more?
If you’ve ever felt like roommates instead of partners or lovers, it’s not too late. Download the FREE Intimacy Game Plan and start huddling tonight. Or talk to me and apply for the full program.
Because you deserve to feel safe, loved, and connected—not just on paper, but in your skin. Intimacy is your skill. Pleasure is your practice. And connection is the cure.
Let’s build it—together.
