Relationships Without Intimacy

Everyone’s has different appetites. Negotiating the shared erotic menu – or dining out guide, is the key to a satisfying relationship. For some couples their intimacy lies in comfort and they are not interested in a sexually intimate relationship, with their partner. As long both partners are happy with this arrangement, than so be it. It is possible to have a fulfilling intimate relationship, to feel safe, secure and vulnerable, without sex or intercourse. It is when these interests in levels of intimacy differ that we see disconnection. 

Today, divorce is unfortunately more socially acceptable than an open marriage. Marriage is seen as an all or nothing. I hear from couples where one or the other has stated that they are no longer interested in having sex. This leaves the active partner feeling abandoned. Often there is an unsatisfactory sexual expression and without the tools to define their needs there is no way to know, ask or fulfill what is missing, so couples move into the comfort of uncomfortable. 

Even with these disconnected or uninterested couples, I find a session of being present, feeling safe, gazing, touching or massaging or holding each other and breathing with out words or expectations can create the physical connection, and start to break the barriers. As an intimacy and relationship coach I can support their sacred bond as they renegotiate their intimacy plan, in whatever way is right for them.